I thought it was time to chuckle at ourselves. Here’s 21 well-intentioned, slightly amusing things I think zero wasters will get. Let me know if you find yourself nodding along to these because you know EXACTLY what I mean. No doubt you’ll think of more if you’ve taken an interest in zero waste and plastic free living so go ahead and put them in the comments at the bottom.

You know you’re a zero waster when…

1.       …you hoard glass jars

 

2.       …you are on a first name basis with staff everywhere you shop

 

3.       …you know what ACV, WGAC, BYOC, SCOBY and the 5Rs stands for

 

4.       …you insist you don’t mind washing so many dishes

 

5.       …you take selfies of you drinking with a reusable straw (even though you didn’t use a straw before)

 

6.       …the hashtag #bulkisbeautiful does not refer to your bulging biceps

 

7.       …you have worms (of the composting variety)

 

8.       …you can have full conversations about your toilet paper, or lack of it

 

9.       …people talk to you about food or products from the supermarket and you have no idea what they’re talking about, truly

 

10.   …you carry a knife at all times (and other cutlery)

 

11.   …your presence at kids’ birthday parties makes other adults slightly uneasy – you didn’t say anything but now they’re thinking of all the single-use items and packaging strewn everywhere

 

12.   …you’re not sure if you are a minimalist or a hoarder and wonder if you can be both – the confusion is torturing you

 

13.   …you lost weight without even trying – how did that happen!

 

14.   …you feel no shame in sticking your hands in garbage to retrieve reusable and recyclable items, in fact, you find going through garbage fascinating and you fantasise about dumpster diving (if you’re not already doing it)

 

15.   …you’d rather let your hands air-dry or dry them on your clothes than use paper towel

 

16.   …you can eat everything you apply to your body or use to clean your home – it might not taste good but it’s technically edible

 

17.   …you hoard recyclables until you can dispose of them properly

 

18.   …you spend hours on YouTube trying to figure out how to fix something – this will not beat you!

 

19.   …you start taking classes in soap making, sewing, composting, and bread making

 

20.   …you convince yourself that bad body odour is a tactic in competitive sport until you find a natural, plastic free deodorant that works

 

21.   …you do this when someone hands you bottled water.

 

You know you're a zero waster when...

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19 thoughts

  1. No. 12 is so true. 😂 The only thing I would add is that slightly panicky feeling you get in the section of the supermarket with all the pre-prepared salad, fruit and vegetables. So. Much. Plastic. 😞

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lol! I’m kind of new in zero wasting but i can already relate to most on your list. But no. 11! This is so true! I thought i was alone! 😭 😂 it’s always awkward and i never meant anyone to feel awkward around my new habits. But then again, maybe that’ll cause people to try zero waste a try. 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Brilliant post! The dichotomy of being feeling like a minimalist and a hoarder at the same time had me laughing out loud. Though I think I need to brush up on some of my ZW TLAs based on number three. (Three letter acronyms)

    Liked by 1 person

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